Monday, July 7, 2008

Eight Tips for Getting Fit!

I don't have a lot of time to blog, in between changing the kombucha tea mushroom, baking my asstounding bread, and updating my Meez charachtar...but I just thought I would give you some quick, useful tips on how to be helthy and hot like me:

1. Eat lots of full-fat, ground beef, preferibly from Walmart. Stay away from the lean ground beef, it is actualy very bad for you and the plan to get Americans to eat lean beef is a conspiricy started by the Catholocs in an effort to kill us off and take over our country. Full-fat is the way to go.

2. Eat lots of canned salmon every week.

3. Be sure you always buy whole, full-fat milk and REAL butter. Again, conspiricy. Stay far away from low fat, nonfat items. They are actualy very bad for you.

4. Order a delishous kombucha mushroom from me and start your own kombucha tea.

5. Make your own yoghert, cottage cheese, and buttermilk. Make sure you always start with full-fat organic products from Walmart, don't forget the conspiracy!

6. Make my Ultimate Asstounding Bread and eat it every day. It is the key to good health and looking hot.

7. Get moving. Now if you really want to be like me, you need to excercize a total of 6 hours a day. If you think you are too buzy to do that, well, you're not you're just lazy. Get your ass out of bed and exercize, no matter what time it is. Look at all I do, I am living testamoney! But, I will let you in on a little secret. Some days I really don't get around to excercizing! Here are my tips: I walk to the mail box. I walk out the door to pick up my newspaper. I sit on an exercise ball and wear ankle weights while blogging and going to Meez parties. (Typing is a great exersize!) Then I blog that I exersised with weights for 6 hours, and the results are serprizingly the same! Just thinking about it will actually get results. It's mind over matter. Think yourself fit if you have to!

8. Make your Meez charachter dance a lot, and change activities. There are all kinds of things your Meez charactar can do - hikking and swimming, for example. Since the Meez caricter represents yourself, you will actually become fit by osmoses! IT's amazing, you should see my biseps!

19 comments:

barbie said...

you know you walked to neighbor's mailbox for that paper --- that's like 50 extra steps! --- Go girl!

tia said...

You know, I know you do this to be funny, and it is. But, it makes me think.

That Nourishing Traditions book she seems to live by is just, I don't know, it seems off kilter to me. I've never read it because I won't buy it and I've never seen it anywhere, but from what Candy says, and many of her minions (I have to thank her for my recent use of that word, by the way) it just makes me uncomfortable. I can feel my arteries hardening by the second.

Low fat / low calorie is not unhealthy. If ya' go overboard, with anything, yeah, it can be bad because you deprive your body of nutrients that come from fat and calories. But, really, the average family doesn't go overboard with low fat stuff. We use low fat mayo/Miracle whip, salad dressings, sour cream for cooking (but never for baked potatoes), skim milk, I use low fat cream cheese on my bagels. There is more, but the gist is that by using these particular low fat items, we can splurge on other things like real butter instead of corn oil spread or margarine, real sour cream for potatoes and dips, etc. Full fat milk for things like scalloped potatoes.

Blah. That was long. But, like everything else in life, the point I was/am making is that balance is all you really need, unless you have real health issues.

The ancient Greeks had it right: all things in moderation.

I cannot see how it could possibly be healthy to eat the way she does. It makes absolutely no sense to me.

sweepingthehome said...

Oh I totally agree Tia, every time I read some of her crap about serving full-fat beef and to avoid lean beef, I just shake my head. I haven't read the book myself because I don't care to commit my time to reading that nonsense (reading Candy's site is enough), but I have read enough online reviews of it to not trust the advice in there. Just go read the reviews on amazon.com. It goes against any kind of common sense and is just mind-boggling.

Milehimama said...

I don't think Nourishing Traditions is THAT kooky. The book, from what I understand, emphasizes eating whole grains instead of refined flours and sugars, and natural products such as butter instead of trans fat products, such as margarine.

New studies have been coming out saying butter is actually better than trans fats as far as heart attacks are concerned, and I don't think I have to convince anyone that eating whole grains is better than refined sugars!

The problem would be if you took ONE PORTION of the diet (such as whole fat milk products) but didn't change anything else (reducing meat consumption and never letting white flour cross your lips again.)

It'd be like going on the Atkins diet, but not cutting out carbs. Or buying Jenny Craig meals, but eating as many as you want, when you want.

I've been keeping my eye out for it, but haven't seen it either. Barnes and Noble offered to order it for me, and it's on Amazon, though.

I've seen it on a ton of "mommy blogs" - even, *GASP*, Catholic ones. I wonder if Candy knows Catholics read Nourishing Traditions, quite possibly by the light of a wax candle? She should definitely shun the book now!

Milehimama said...

BTW, when my husband went on an anti-inflammatory diet that eliminated trans fats, etc., his goutlike symptoms cleared up and he lost weight, despite eating butter and other real food.

Then he went back to Coca Cola, Drink of the Devil (and Catholics), and it was all over.

Sigh.

sweepingthehome said...

I guess what I don't get is the advice to eat full-fat beef or dairy products. I do understand that butter is better than margarine, and of course whole grains are much better than refined. But... whole milk better than skim or low-fat? Full-fat beef (especially hamburger, of all things!) better than lean beef? I just don't see the sense in that.

Rosamundi said...

I think full-fat milk has higher amounts of certain vitamins than low-fat milk - I know Vitamin D (needed to absorb the calcium from the milk) is fat soluble, and it makes sense to me that if you remove some of the fat, you also remove some of the vitamin D.

However, I don't know how much is removed, and what effect this has on the nutritional value of the milk.

In the UK, where I am, reduced-fat beef is more expensive than fatty beef, so I wonder if that is (at least partly) why she uses it?

revolution:jesus said...

hi, newcomer here. i've been reading all the candy blogs [including hers] for a couple weeks now. very interesting.

actually, i found an article on-line saying this:

The butterfat of commercial milk is homogenized, subjecting it to rancidity. Even worse, butterfat may be removed altogether. Skim milk is sold as a health food, but the truth is that butter-fat is in milk for a reason.

Without it the body cannot absorb and utilize the vitamins and minerals in the water fraction of the milk. Along with valuable trace minerals and short chain fatty acids, butterfat is America's best source of preformed vitamin A.

Synthetic vitamin D, known to be toxic to the liver, is added to replace the natural vitamin D complex in butterfat. Butterfat also contains re-arranged acids which have strong anti-carcinogenic properties.

"Non-fat dried milk is added to 1% and 2% milk. Unlike the cholesterol in fresh milk, which plays a variety of health promoting roles, the cholesterol in non-fat dried milk is oxidized and it is this rancid cholesterol that promotes heart disease."
http://www.mercola.com/article/milk/no_milk.htm

and i actually remember a friend telling me it is the process that skim milk goes through that is so bad for you. not that i remember much more than that. anyway, i think it was interesting. i don't buy anything other than full-fat milk, but that's mostly because i grew up on it and like the taste. :)

Milehimama said...

I *think* the Nourishing Traditions actually specifies "unhomogenized" milk and/or raw milk.

Again, I don't have the book but know lots of ladies who cook that way.

Buttermilk is the milk remaining after butter is made - and fat is mostly removed, and is very low fat and acidic.

sweepingthehome said...

Welcome Revolution, that is very interesting! I'll have to put some research into that myself because I had no clue.

Now anyone have any ideas why "full-fat beef" would be better?

Rosamundi said...

Now anyone have any ideas why "full-fat beef" would be better?

You need a certain amount of fat in your diet, for energy, and because certain vitamins are fat-soluble. But most people eat far, far too much fat.

But, to be honest, I'd rather spend my money on low-fat beef and not watch it fry to nothing in the pan when I'm cooking.

Milehimama said...

You got me on that one. If you buy an organic cow or grass fed beef, it tends to be very, very lean. The fatty cows tend to be fed more unhealthy diets.

Now I do know that fatty pork is preferred, because pigs have been modified to produce leaner meat (if you are against GMO/antibiotics in meat, etc., fatty pork is more likely to be natural.) I'm not sure if cows are the same way or not. I've never heard of that.

sweepingthehome said...

You need a certain amount of fat in your diet, for energy, and because certain vitamins are fat-soluble. But most people eat far, far too much fat.

OK, I admit I don't know much about nutrition beyond what Glamour magazine publishes...but I thought energy came from carbohydrates, not fat? Anyway, as you said, I'm sure the typical American gets his fair share of fat without making an effort to eat "full-fat beef."

Rosamundi said...

OK, I admit I don't know much about nutrition beyond what Glamour magazine publishes...but I thought energy came from carbohydrates, not fat?

It comes from both. It's been a while since I've studied nutrition, so this may be wrong in the fine detail, but your body burns fat and carbohydrates to provide energy.

Carbohydrates are easier to burn, so they are used as a primary energy source, but if you're not eating carbs, or if you're exercising enough that you run out of carbs to burn, then your body will burn fat. It's one of the reasons why people who do a low-carb diet lose weight really quickly in the initial phase, because they're not eating carbs, so their body has to burn their fat reserves.

Conversely, if you're loading up on the carbs, especially sugar, and not exercising enough, then your body turns the carbs to fat, and it just sits there, wobbling.

revolution:jesus said...

"It's one of the reasons why people who do a low-carb diet lose weight really quickly in the initial phase, because they're not eating carbs, so their body has to burn their fat reserves."

that's so interesting! i never knew that. i feel a tad bit more knowledgeable.

Clare said...

When i came across KTH I thought that Candy was like a parody herself. This is a parody of a parody. I have a bit of a sensitive conscience about laughing at people, even frustrating loons like Candy. But this is so funny it's become a bit of a guilty pleasure.
Just thought I'd better 'fess up!

Rosamundi said...

that's so interesting! i never knew that. i feel a tad bit more knowledgeable.

Every day's a learning experience ;-)

saramom said...

why, I am just loving your new "look" it is so perty!!

Milehimama said...

Mandy,
I have been thinking and thinking about my muscles but they are not very toned yet.

In fact, yesterday I bruised my finger while spray painting a chair I found by the side of the road (It's amazing what people throw away! I just needed to reweld the aluminum, make a cane seat, and paint it purple!).

My finger almost hurts too much to type >:'(

Of course, I'm soaking it in Kombucha to speed the heeling, but how can i make my finger muscles more stronger?