Sunday, June 29, 2008

Naysayers, and Q&A Time

First of all, my massage to my naysayers: this is MY blog. If you disagree with anything I say than you don't have to read my blog. Go away.

Now, for all the lovely KJV only homemakers in long dresses, the rest is for you. ;)

Q: Oh Mandy, this looks delish. Could you post instructions on how to get the salmon out of the can? I want to make this for dinner tonight. Do you think I could substitute Food Club salt for the organic sea salt? I wouldn't want to risk changing the flavor of your yummy dish. -Carolyn

A: First of all, get out a spoon. Then put the handles of the can opener in your hand, position the two wheels on the rim of the can. Squeeze the handles closed, and with your free hand, turn the crank. Voila! Your can is open. ;) Now use the spoon I told you to get out and scoop the salmon out of the can.

As for using substitute Food Club salt, I don't think that's a good idea. It must be organic sea salt preferibally from Walmart, anything else could seriously altar the flaver of the dish. ;)

Q: Oh I forgot to ask... Can I double this recipe? They're having a "bring a covered dish" to our church tomorrow and I want to have enough for everyone to taste. -Carolyn

A: My receipe can be doubled, but don't over do it! A little bit goes vary far, surprizingly. The small amount in my picture feeds my entire family, with leftovers. They all say they get vary full vary fast and never have room for more. :)

Q: How do you do it? I'm fat lazy and stupid, and I'm learning sooo much from you. I want to be a tite ass 2 keeper of the home just like you. -whatsmynameagain

A: First of all, you need to just stop being lazy and eating. :) Get up at least by 4:00 AM and read the KJV bible for 2 hours. This will automaticly increase your IQ points and you will be getting smarter very fast. Then work-out following the TITE-ASS 2 tapes for at least 4 hours. Then wipe off, brush your hair, put on a little lip gloss, and a beautiful modest dress and some houseslippers. Don't forget to slip a cute matching scrungee on your wrist, they double as a hairpiece or inexpensive jewerlry! ;) Now start making kombucha tea, yoghert, buttermilk, Asstounding Bread, and Famous Salmon. Clean your entire house using baking soda and vinegar. If you're house smells like a salad, that's OK, at least it's clean! Vacuum all the carpets and then do the laundry. After your house is emmaculate like mine, then set the table and have the famous salmon dinner all ready for your wonderful hubby when he comes home from work. Pour him a glass of full-fat organic milk and give him some organic full-fat butter to spread on his asstounding bread. But don't eat anything yourself because you are fat. Instead, workout again for 3 hours before going to bed. And read your Bible again. After you read your Bible, wipe off and slip on a cute nightgown for your hubby, in case he's wanting to show you his apreshiation for your hard work, if you know what I mean. ;) If you have a baby, it is possible to get everything done by putting him or her in the playpen all day while you work, if he cries, don't worry, he will stop after a few hours. He will soon learn to entertain himself and stop being so dependant on you. ;)

Well, that's all I have time for today, because I have so much to get done! Have a blessed day! :)

Saturday, June 28, 2008

To Tia


I can see that you are here only to insult me and post vile and disgusting, trashy comments to me, calling me horrible names that I cannot even repete here on my blog. Tia, if you feel so bad about your own homemaking skills that you have to attack me, than I would suggest you look in the mirror and ask who has the real problam here. Are you a true ladie? Do you please your preshious hubby? Are you cutting your hair? Wearing pants? Makeup? You know what, if you have to wear makeup it's because you don't look good without it and that is a HUGE sign that are not eating healthy, so maybe you should start putting some of my Famous Salmon on your regular dinner menu. Get real, Tia. Get yourself a good King James Bible and start reading it because you are lost and need serius help.

Friday, June 27, 2008

My Famous Baked Salmon Receipe


Many of you have asked for my Baked Salmon receipe. It is realy easy and vary healthy and delishous. ;)


- 1 can pink salmon (14.75 oz.)

- 1 tsp. natural organic Walmart sea salt

- 1/4 tsp. organic freshly ground pepper

- 1 organic virgen garlic clove, minced


1. Get out a baking pan.

2. Heat oven to 350 degrees.

3. Get out a bowl.

4. Get out a spoon.

5. Mix salmon, salt, pepper, and garlic in the bowl that I just told you to get out, with the spoon I told you to get out.

6. Spoon mixture into the baking pan I told you to get out.

7. Place the baking pan with the salmon mixture in the oven.

8. Close the oven door.

9. Set the timer for 15 minutes.

10. Get out an oven mitt.

11. When the timer rings, use the oven mitt to get the salmon out of the oven.

12. Enjoy! :) This salmon is great with my Sensual Salad, Perfect Potatoes, Nifty Noodles, Resplendent Rice and Ultimate Asstounding Bread as side dishes. :)

Fun Family Day Today!

Now that I have read 4 books of the bible, and finished my 3-hour work out session and wiped off, I have just a minute to blog. We have a big, advenchurous day planned today. First, we will be going to the mall to play in the water fountens. If you haven't done that with your family, you should give it a try, it's fun and free. ;) After that it will be lunch time, so we will head out to Sam's club to eat all the free samples. I highly reccommend doing this to save money, especially if you have a large family. Sam's Club offers plenty of free samples without obligation to buy anything, and it's always enough to feed our entire family! After Sams, we will go to the hospital and hand out Jack Chick tracts. We will be looking especially for people who are wearing crucefixes as our main target. After we are done with our family ministry, we will reward ourselves by riding up and down the elevaters a few times!

See ladies, there are lots of ways to have fun outings with your family for free! Have a blessed day! (Unless you're catholoc.)

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

New Avitar!

I have put up a new avitar. I decided to go less autonymos now, and have put a REAL picture of myself up! I bet everyone is shocked, but I want to no, what do you think? I know it appears "cartoonish" like, but really, it is a real photagraph my hot hubby took of me this afternoon after I exersized and showered, and, pleased him (hint, hint, blush). He thought I looked really cute afterword, so he wanted to take a pick. Then I used the scetch feature on Photoshop. (For those of you wondering why I would spend so much money on Photoshop, don't worry, I didn't! There are ways to get around these things. ;) I have a freind who has Photoshop and she copied it onto a disk for me, and I so got it for free! ;) There's no reason anyone should pay Photoshop for this. Once they provide the service, they do not dezerve to be payed over and over.)

Anyway, I am wondering what you think? Do you like my avitar? Am I hot? Remember ladies, it's all about Me! ;)

And if you're Catholoc, please do not post any comments becuase I really don't want to here them.

Have a blessed day to everyone else!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Snake bites

Well now that I have finished exersizing, chatting on Meez, reading 12 books of the Bible, making out with my hot hubby, and baking my Ultamate Asstounding bread, I have a minute to tell you about my adventure yesterday! Yesterday I was watching a lovely rattlesnake slithering through Baby Girl's room and it was absoluetly amazing and beautiful! The rattles made a lovely sound, like marracas, that rattlesnake was praising the Lord with his built-in instraments! Baby Girl and I got really exited and started dancing around and having a praise party with the rattlesnake right there in her bedroom! We were realy hopping! Unfortunetly, I think we may have scared the snake, because it suddenly bit me. But don't worry! Rattlesnake bites are not nearly as dangerous as people think they are, and are treatable at home. ;)

Here are the steps for treating a rattlesnake wound:

(1) Pour boilling water over the bite to kill bacteria.

(2) Make a paste by mixing homemade yoghurt, my Ultamate Asstounding bread crumbs (be sure to use my recipe and not a substitute), and homemade buttermilk together, then rub that into the wound. It will break down the poisen protiens!

There is no need to go to the doctor because doctors are just money hungry phonies and most of them are undercover Catholics working for the vatacan, so don't be fooled ladies.

Have a blessed day! :)

Sunday, June 22, 2008

I've been so souper buzy!

I'm sorry I haven't bloged in a while, but I've been realy buzy playing online with my new meez carechter! It's great because hubby and I can chat on the computer together now, even though we're in the same room, it's much more fun this way. ;) Plus I can chat with other bible-believing, kjv only clones who all hate catholics and we're such a blessing to each other! Oh I better go check on Baby Girl now, she's been in her crib since 7:00 AM and it's almost time for her evening bath! I'm outta here!