Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Snake bites

Well now that I have finished exersizing, chatting on Meez, reading 12 books of the Bible, making out with my hot hubby, and baking my Ultamate Asstounding bread, I have a minute to tell you about my adventure yesterday! Yesterday I was watching a lovely rattlesnake slithering through Baby Girl's room and it was absoluetly amazing and beautiful! The rattles made a lovely sound, like marracas, that rattlesnake was praising the Lord with his built-in instraments! Baby Girl and I got really exited and started dancing around and having a praise party with the rattlesnake right there in her bedroom! We were realy hopping! Unfortunetly, I think we may have scared the snake, because it suddenly bit me. But don't worry! Rattlesnake bites are not nearly as dangerous as people think they are, and are treatable at home. ;)

Here are the steps for treating a rattlesnake wound:

(1) Pour boilling water over the bite to kill bacteria.

(2) Make a paste by mixing homemade yoghurt, my Ultamate Asstounding bread crumbs (be sure to use my recipe and not a substitute), and homemade buttermilk together, then rub that into the wound. It will break down the poisen protiens!

There is no need to go to the doctor because doctors are just money hungry phonies and most of them are undercover Catholics working for the vatacan, so don't be fooled ladies.

Have a blessed day! :)

9 comments:

joni said...

I love your sarcasm. Have you posted your URL in Candy's comments? You are good!

saramom said...

I LOVE IT!!!!!!

KJ said...

Love it! You are hysterical. More Please.

sweepingthehome said...

Thank you for stopping by. I love the comments! God forbid you ever get a snake bite, but if you do, now you know how to handle it!

angie said...

Oh my gosh, I was wondering when someone was going to pick up on the snake fascination. LOL! Did you happen to catch the post where she introduced her children to the wandering male pitbull? My thoughts went immediately to people in church playing with snakes... and then she posts about hanging out close to snakes in the wild. Wow

candyisascrazyasitgets said...

Yeah I almost posted about the Apalachian Christian snake handlers, but decided it might be too obscure. Your site is wonderful, and the mockery is fantastic. Keep it up. I will try and figure out how to link it to my site.

sweepingthehome said...

Angie: Did you happen to catch the post where she introduced her children to the wandering male pitbull?

Do you have a link or a c&p? Sounds like fun! :D

angie said...

No, don't have a link- that post was probably about a month ago. From what I rememeber, they were on their way home after playing at the park and came across this pitbull with no tags or anything. They approached it and ended up petting this dog. I'm not saying all pitbulls are bad, but I personally would never approach one with my young children in tow. I've wondered what message she is trying to convey with these stories- pitbull, BR spiders and being bitten by them, snakes... I don't think I even need to say it. I honestly try not to say anything bad about Candy as a person/mother, but this just seemed like a huge error in judgement and sends a wierd message to readers that seem to think she walks on water.

Stephanie said...

U r not rilly a crhistain. U need to pick up surpents. It say so in the bibleee.